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the archive(s):
issue no. 3:
Counsel/ JD Smith
Who wouldn't? Not me. No way, pal. In a New York minute. In a heartbeat-less, a diastole. By the time that heart beats again-my heart after six cups of coffee, three cigars, a hit of speed, a hummingbird's heart strung out on nectar and pure existence-I would seize the opportunity if the opportunity ever came my way again.
It did once or twice, depending on how you classify things. And hell, I, of small science, little love, damned nearly no business anywhere and less profit to show for it, can't be expected to arrive at a taxonomy of moments allegedly at the peak of evolution when minds higher on that summit can't determine how many species are destroyed every day or whether a serial killer should be put down like an incontinent dog.
What I know is how it felt to have all Possibility before me as my every cell flexed its organelles and quivered in its DNA at the brink of executing in unison with all its forty-six-chromosomed compadres the first step of a march to rival D-Day, a Great Lake brimming with synchronized swimmers, or the wedding of ten thousand Moonies who would then be introduced.
That moment-or moments-felt like some superscripted exponent of those rare evenings when every food and drug in my body had balanced at a great height, as if a very Wallenda hadstretched his tightrope to span Everest and K-2. But deep, as if for the most sub-superficial catfish or carp, if either could think, or a worm dangled on a hook in a sea trench where never such
hook or such worm had dangled before and offered any prospect beside the lowly and eternal hoovering of detritus from sand and rock.
I was that fish in all but gills-and in mastery of that instant contemplated that which I was about to take in, which would transfigure me. The prospect lay before me with a still toward which Pompeii's dead are still striving. Yet, beholding that prospect, I turned away.
That won't happen again. I'm wiser, a little, I guess. Sadder-maybe-I'm doing okay under the circumstances, and older, of course. It would be something if I weren't. All I can tell you is that if I were in that situation or one even remotely resembling it I would jump on it and milk it for everything it was worth and take advantage of it until there was no advantage left to be taken. I've had time to think this thing through, and think it through again, and there's no question in my mind. Yeah, buddy. You wouldn't have to tell me twice.
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